​I used to know a fellow named Dale
Who without fail
Could be called to go for days
Singing his own praise.
Say something simple like
"Good to see you,"
And as if planning to strike
He takes that as cue:
 
"Drink it in deeply,
Enjoy that you see me.
Hell, I'm cute as a corgi
All the ladies adore me,
But supermodels bore me.
Don't want a mouth breathin' mannequin --
Fuckin' them ain't a win.
Every single one a coat hanger
I'd break if I bang her."
 
So I think you get the gist,
But let's go down the list.
Ask about work,
And induce his quirk
To sell a dry well:
 
"I don't mean to boast,
But coast to coast
I got the most
Stocks, jewels, money, cars --
I fuckin' own fifteen bars.
I got enough cash to buy me class.
My wallet's fatter than Kardashian ass.
I drink champagne from a Martian glass.
I bought NASA to fly me around.
That's my shuttle outside of town."
 
Yet, though rare,
He was known to share
An odd open mindedness
Suggesting a kindness.
Beneath the bravado
A family first motto.
Inquire about his mother,
He answers like no other:
 
"She's hungry for dick.
Don't be a prude prick
Acting all sick
Cuz she's down to fuck.
Moms need to get their pussy stuck.
And mine's got a vadge like a fire truck
Red, wet, and gushing water
Like Poseidon's own daughter.
In fact, my Pop going down nonstop
Chugging her quim is what drowned him."
 
So that's Dale.
Never stale.
Quick with a word,
And happy to be heard.
Yet, he wasn't all that bright.
Went for a firecracker
Lit a stick of dynamite.
However, sometimes after a few beers
His ghost appears:
 
"I was supposed to deflower
Everyone at prom,
But some motherfucker
Dropped an atomic bomb,
And now y'all dead.
Just ghosts inside my head."

In an effort to get better at a little thing called shameless self promotion, but also to provide more dynamic content, I'm doing what I can to track down videos of performances I've made.  Whether it's sketches I've written for theater troupes, or live shows where I read my writing, I'm endeavoring to gather them here.  To that end, here is a sketch I wrote a long time back called "This is a Cursed Place."

It was performed by a wonder theater group here in Chicago called BYOT (Bring Your Own Theater).  I've mentioned them before, but here are some links to more info about them:

https://www.facebook.com/byotproductions/

https://www.byotproductions.com/

Anyway, this is a fun weird piece that I'm going to let speak for itself.  Everyone in it did a fantastic job.  Enjoy... This is a Cursed Place...

A few months back I got the opportunity to do some spoken word at a fundraiser for a fantastic Chicago theater group called Coffee and Whiskey Productions.  It was a wonderful evening, lots of fun, drinking, good folks, excellent acts, and laughs.  As such they've been able to put out a pretty solid season so far.  This is the video of my set that evening.  The fundraiser took place around Giftmas, so that's why the story is about Christmas.  Still, I think it's funny year round. 

That said, Coffee and Whiskey are about to briefly bring back a wonderful show they did last year called Karaoke Night at Al Capone's House of Pancakes.  It's a delightful, lively production full of laughs and heart.  In addition, it contains a unique bit of, for lack of a better term, improv.  Performers actually sing karaoke throughout the night, however, they have no idea what songs they'll be expected to do.  So you can actually catch a flash of worry across an actor's face when suddenly called to the mic.  And if last year is any indication, audience members might be called on stage to perform songs as well.  This is a show put on by a group of people whom you will be able to see enjoying the show they're in, not just acting in it. 

​For more on Coffee and Whiskey Productions follow the links below.
Coffee & Whiskey Productions – Theatre is Conversation
https://www.facebook.com/coffeeandwhiskeyproductions/
 

Currently reading Ishmael Reed's novel "Mumbo Jumbo."  First off, it's a delightfully strange read that's giving me a lot to think about.  Second, it inspired me to make this abstracted dancer.  I think of it as a dancer melting in the heat of a performance.  If you see something else, that's cool.  Enjoy.